| “If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.” |
| —Galatians 6:3-4 |
Where does sibling rivalry come from? It seems to me that largely it comes from jealousy, selfishness, or a combination of both. Even the Bible has stories of such family disputes. These stories caution us about the common, but contentious, occasions between brothers and sisters, both at home and perhaps especially within our churches.
One such story occurs in Luke 10:38-42. You know how this story goes. Martha is cooking, while pots and pans pile up in the kitchen. But, Mary sits at Jesus’ feet listening to Him teach. Martha complains to Jesus and He sides with Mary because she chose to do “the most important thing.” Mature Martha loves Jesus. So, she undoubtedly responds in humility and love for her sister, as well.
Jesus tells another well-known story of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32. In this story, the younger brother rebelliously demands that his father given him what will become his inheritance money, recklessly spends it on foolishness, but later returns home to ask forgiveness from his father. The older brother, who has remained faithful, stayed at home, and continued to work for his father, doesn’t appreciate the celebration and the banquet given to this ne’er-do-well sibling. The rift may have separated these brothers permanently. But, we aren’t told whether or not this is true.
My last illustration from Scripture can be found in Mark 10:35-45. This story shows what can happen within a faith community infected with rivalry. Brothers James and John come to Jesus and ask if they can sit in the two most prominent seats in heaven—one on Jesus’ right and the other on His left. The remaining ten disciples became so indignant that Jesus has to sit them all down and tell them:
“… whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.”
These stories illustrate the way that small rifts between brothers and sisters can cause disunity in our homes, at our workplaces, and, sadly, in our churches. Each such rift provides an entrance for the devastating work of the evil one. This kind of disharmony adversely affects the witness of the body of Christ and tends to turn Christians from allowing the power of the Holy Spirit to work freely in that body. Scripture admonishes us often to work at maintaining peace with our brothers and sisters, particularly within the church.
As Paul tells Christ’s followers in Ephesians 4:3:
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
We may expect, even tolerate, sibling rivalry between little children. But, among mature believers, we must ask God to protect us from the sins of jealousy and selfishness that create an atmosphere ripe for disunity. In our homes, in our places of work, and particularly in our churches, may God’s peace grow and abound to Christ’s glory!
